Mindful, Not Mythical Get the book

Mindful, Not Mythical

Everyday Practices for Gratitude, Calm & Clarity

When your mind's busy and your phone keeps buzzing, this book gives you small, simple ways to find some calm.

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The cover of Mindful, Not Mythical by Carlton Embers

Mindful, Not Mythical is a practical guide to mindfulness for a hectic life, with bite-size practices from 10 seconds to 15 minutes and the science explained in plain words.

What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness means noticing what's happening right now, in your body, your thoughts and the world around you. It comes down to a few small skills:

  • Notice how your body feels, and put a word to the feeling.
  • Your mind will wander, many times. When you notice it's drifted off, gently bring it back to what you were doing.
  • Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend.

All together, these give you a moment to pause and choose what to do next.

Four people you'll meet in the book

You'll meet four people in the book. Each one is a mix of several real people, so you might see a bit of yourself in them.

  1. In an evening meeting room, a man sits under a lamp with his hands flat on the table and his jaw tight, while a colleague leans in holding a page.

    Julian, a project manager.

    A meeting gets tense and he feels his jaw tighten. This time, he takes a breath before he answers.

  2. At night on a hospital ward, a woman holds her frightened father's hand by his bed and leans in to talk to him.

    Elena, caring for her dad.

    At his hospital bedside, she feels how scared he is, and some days she's scared too. But she talks him through what the doctor said.

  3. In a sunlit exam hall, a young woman rests her hand on her exam paper, about to turn it over.

    Maya, a law student.

    Exams make her heart race. As she turns over her final paper, she takes three slow breaths to steady herself.

  4. A father sits on the living-room rug at night while his son plays with toy cars; he looks away to the window.

    Liam, a delivery driver.

    He's on the floor playing with his son, but his mind keeps drifting to tomorrow.

Listen and try

Two free guided mindfulness practices from the book. Each one takes three minutes or less. Find a quiet spot, press play and follow along.

Paced Breathing
The Five-Minute Sit
Mindful Walking
The 15-Minute Embodied Reset
One-Point Focus
The 90-Second Emotional Pause

Body Stress Scan

0:002:57
Try this about 3 minutes

Body Stress Scan

Notice where you feel stress in your body.

  1. Close your eyes, or let them rest softly in one spot. Take three slow breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth.
  2. Notice your forehead, then your jaw, then your shoulders. Let each one soften a little.
  3. Move slowly down through your arms, chest, stomach and legs. Put a word to any tension you find, like "tight" or "buzzing".
  4. Rest your hands on your belly and breathe slowly.
  5. Remind yourself: "Stress is here, but so am I."
Try this 1 to 2 minutes

5-4-3-2-1 Grounding

Use your senses to feel more present when you're stuck or overwhelmed.

  1. Keep your eyes open. Name 5 things you can see.
  2. Name 4 things you can hear.
  3. Name 3 things you can feel, like your clothes, the chair or the floor.
  4. Name 2 things you can smell.
  5. Name 1 thing you can taste.
  6. Take one slow breath in, and out.

If some senses are hard to use right now, use the ones that work for you.

Take care: If a practice makes you feel worse rather than calmer, you can stop at any time. Can mindfulness make me feel worse?

The mythical bits, cleared up

Resilient people don't get knocked down.

They do, the same as everyone else. They just get back up a bit quicker, and that's something you can practise.

I'm good at doing five things at once.

Your brain is really hopping from one thing to the next, and part of your attention stays on the last one. A slow breath before you switch can help.

Mindfulness should fix everything.

We all have difficult weeks. Mindfulness can help you notice when it's time to slow down or ask someone for help.

It takes 21 days to form a habit.

That number goes back to a surgeon in 1960, and he wasn't talking about habits. When researchers followed people starting a new habit, it usually took about two months, and missing a day didn't really set them back.

Inside the book

Your brain's built-in smoke alarm.

The amygdala, a small part of your brain, can sound the alarm before you've had time to think. Putting a word to the feeling seems to help it settle.

Lieberman et al. 2007

A wandering mind is normal.

Our minds drift away from what we're doing nearly half the time. So if yours wanders, you're not alone.

Killingsworth and Gilbert 2010

An unopened notification can still interrupt you.

A buzz or ping from your phone can break your focus, even if you don't pick it up.

Stothart et al. 2015

Kindness vs pep talk.

After failing a test, people who were kind to themselves studied longer for the next one than people given a pep talk.

Breines and Chen 2012

You can listen to eight of the book's practices and follow along. Two are free to play above. If you have the book, enter the code printed near the back to play the other six.

Questions about mindfulness

My mind keeps wandering. Am I doing it wrong?

Not at all. Everyone's mind wanders. Each time you notice and gently come back, you're doing it right, even if it happens twenty times in five minutes.

Can I practise mindfulness without sitting down to meditate?

Yes. A walk, a stretch or a cup of tea by the window can all be a chance to practise. Just pay attention to what you can see, hear and feel while you're doing it.

How much time do I need each day?

Less than you might think. Most of the practices in the book take a few minutes, and practising often seems to matter more than practising for long. If you miss a day, just pick it up again.

Do I need to be religious or spiritual?

No. The practices in the book draw on Buddhist tradition, which goes back over 2,500 years, and the book treats those roots with respect. You can use them whatever you believe.

Can mindfulness make me feel worse?

Most people find mindfulness helpful, and some find it doesn't do much either way. For some people, certain practices can stir up more than they expected, especially at first.

If you've lived through trauma or a very hard childhood, or had psychosis or dissociation, go gently, ideally with someone trained to work with trauma.

Pause if any of these keep happening:

  • You feel much more anxious or panicky than before you started
  • You get flashbacks or upsetting memories
  • You feel numb, or as if things aren't quite real
  • Your sleep gets worse over days or weeks
  • You find it hard to get on with your day after practising

If they do, try a shorter, gentler practice, or one where you move instead of sitting still. Or talk to a mental health professional.

Can mindfulness help me sleep?

Mindfulness can't make you fall asleep, but it can help you rest when your mind won't switch off. Lie still, rest a hand on your belly and breathe slowly. When your mind wanders off, notice it and come back to your breathing.

"Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths."Etty Hillesum

Ready when you are

Start with one practice, whenever it suits you. Over time, it can help you feel a little steadier on busy days.

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